The heart pumps.

The last time this kind of feeling felt was in the november of 2006. I believe in 2006, the feeling was more intense and deeper. The feeling that each heart beat brings about certain ache in my chest. The throat closing in on you while the veins in your eyes start to show and your breath slowly shortens. This pain reminds me of how fragile human emotions can be. Lets me know that I am still alive and warm blooded, yet makes me want to stop pumping.

This feeling felt today is bad. When you stop being angry, stop blowing your top. When you stay calm and work towards being patient. When you continue to give love when you have stopped recieving. All the feelings get bottled up and stored away. The anger and feelings of unjust subpressed within is like a time-bomb waiting to blow up bad. How am I going to swallow this fiery weapon of destruction and continue living like nothing has gone wrong?

My eyes are heavy, sored when the eyelids do not shield them from the painful wind. So out of breath. So out of life.