SMU, NUS, NTU, SIM etc etc etc...

Economics, how different is it from these various institution? The content that we learn from classes cannot be that much different from each other right? Just like eqns in sciences, every engineer has to learn the same eqns that derives the same ans. This is the mainstream right?

the straits time published SMU economics graduates earning the highest pay. My professor said that SMU students may not be as bright as NTU or NUS students but their outspokeness stands out. Will that change in a couple of years? I believe so. I truly feel that SMU has come about from a good technique, by distinguishing themselves as a institution that provides a form of education system that is different from the other more native way, and by attracting students slowly. They have managed to break the oligoly and join in the party. As the more good grades students enter SMU and are exposed to the skills that distinguishes SMU students from NUS and NTU students, what will come out from SMU i believe are graduates who are know their stuff, as well as know how to present their stuff pretty well.

While it is good to note the ambiguity with the statistics that MOE released, is the cohort of the number of graduates who took up economics similar to those in NTU and NUS? by right they should be the same, having taken up a course in statistics this semester it probably do not matter as much as to a statiscian.

In addition, the management in NTU economics has just recently changed. I believe that the system in NTU will slowly evolve, they must if they want to help their kids.

Ultimately, it is up to myself to want to do something about this. It is like showing you the door but you are the one who has to walk through it yourself. These informations and opportunity are presented to me. I can sit around and do nothing, whining and feeling sorry for myself, or i can make a change in my life and do something about it. Now is not the time to wait for something to happen anymore.

Living in Singapore

I just read the papers section of kuma's interview. Pretty right there about the huge numbers of foreigners living in singapore. Just don't make you feel as at home anymore. does it? how will things really change in a decade or half a century's time? perhaps this can be used as a tool for encouraging locals to find partners here and to have kids or have more kids. haha. I think kuma made a really good point.

There is a huge inflow of foreigners, Singapore is a prime location for expats all over the world because of its social and political stability. In addition, Singapore welcomes this influx because of the talents and also to add up the numbers of residents living in Singapore. Will there be a day when the prime minister or the president is not from singapore? As the world becomes more integrated by the minute, will there still be an distinct identity for each of us? Will it be a good thing if there isnt anymore differences, is this the ultimate level of harmony among human beings? If so, Singapore can sail right to the top as the best example of high level of hybrid of a society. yes, a hybrid. if we fail, we will probably be termed as a mix. haha. can this dream really be realised?

The next generation(bah..i'm old) will probably grow up facing people from all around the world. Even I myself am seeing this kind of integration at the moment and inevitably we will begin to work with them hand in hand. but is there still stigma and steroetype? Kuma said that more and more singapore local girls choose 'ang mos' over singaporean men. Is it because Singapore men are of lesser quality in terms of personality or education or perhaps physical? (cheeky) I personally have this stigma of westerners being superior, more sophisicated and complex in thoughts. perhaps this frightens me especially when i converse with foreigners. then again, it might be due to the way i was brought up, low in self-confidence or perhaps when i see situations portraying westerners as more established. even though there are in a way. this trend will change. in time. i believe. as singapore makes its name known further annd wider and louder int he world arena, people may think twice when they want to label "asians" as lousier or of lower class. perhps it is already beginning. I need to be stronger and be more confident about where i am as a singaporean. to prepare the following generations to come to be strong as well. not to be arrogant or proud, as we have learnt from history that there are repurcussions to that, rather, to be humble and always have a inquisitive mind, to want to konw more and learn more.

Thank you kuma for giving me such thoughts. I shall work hard.
Time to return to my preparation for stats. haha.

The thing about Blogs

I've began to read more blogs than usual. Okay, not more blogs, probably just mine and another person's. haha. But is it really that interesting to know about what goes on in other people's life? Well, some Christian teachings do talk about minding your own business. Unless the other party wants to disclose about his/her personal issues? But if you blog you want others to know what you think right? hah! BUT! it's quite tiring to keep checking out someone's thoughts, unless that someone is that special someone, otherwise there is really tonns of other things to do. for example, FACEBOOK! This new media is really terrible. Will we see a shift from the usual blogging that started about a decade ago to what we have now? FB has a journal, there are notes where people can post what they feel. There are themes and titles for these notes such as 10 stupid things you did in your life etc. Above all, whenever you write a note, it can be notified to your friends and their FB page will show you so and so has written a note. Free pubilicity, wow. I wonder when will be the day that I will no longer write anything here but just publish it in my FB page. HEY! there are really applications that lighten your mood. =)

True enuogh, the usual blog can be very personalised and facinating. It is like designing your own webpage by far FB cannot compare with. However, at the rate of people joining FB, at the rate of new and attractive applications being written for FB, with the new generation growing up with the influence of FB. This new media might just become a new medium. Lets just wait and see how long this will take.

Time for less. Cheers everyone, remember to do your part in saving our Earth!

Life, inspirations, tragedy, uncertainties.

The recess week has pretty much flew by, I guess I did not spend it as well as I wanted to. Procrastination pretty much get the better of me. I wanted to do this...wanted to do that...and most of the time my eyes are glued to the laptop's screen with the html:facebook. darn. the impact of new media has on us. haha.

So I have been cofused about what I'm doing this past week. There is alot of work to be done, yet I'm just taking things slowly and easy. Probably why I felt a internal turmoil going through. Some part of me wants to get things done immediately, well, I did revise for 206 during the first half of the week. Then things changed after IPPT. I PASSED! haha. Work performance really spiral down from there. I was too happy and relaxed I did a chapter of 201 in 3 days. I've yet to finish that chapter but I've managed to finish my tutorial.

On the last night of the recess, (today's not considered even though I've got no school), ps showed me a video clip of Nick Vujicic. It was really insipiring. To let nothing stop you. Well, everyone is guilty of procrastinating, some more serious than the other, but we should not let it stop us from moving on with life. At any time, All the time, we should not give up. I like the line "work with what we have and not complain about what we don't" probably because there are so many things that I want or wish I could have. Seldom realising and appreciating on what I already have. Don't compare suffering. That line is really awesome too. Don't compare suffering. And the day you felt like you reached your fullest potential, you have not. wow. This line probably pushes each one of us to go on and be humble. A life without limits. we heard this before: most of the time we are the one who put limits on ourselves and not circumstances or others. thank you Nick Vujicic, for giving me a sense of motivation and inspiration to continue for the 2nd half of the semester year 1. I guess i pretty much felt tired. but now i konw, i have not reached my fullest potential, and there are still many things to go on with. even if i fail, i will try again. yes. no matter how many times you fail to achieve what you want, if you stop, you will never achieve it, so i shall not stop trying.

There are many more things he talked about. Especially with regards to God. I feel bad about that whenever someone speaks about what we can do for God, or instead, what we allow God to do through us. I've been rather stangnant or probably receding, like my hair line. haha. God is good, but I don't listen well. This line was grab from Alvina's fb page. haha. I want to. It;s Lent, and I've already failed to keep up with the fasting that I wanted to offer up to God, but i shall not give up trying. even if it's after Lent, I shall not give up until it is no longer a problem that will draw me away from God. Thank you God for your grace, please have mercy on my soul.

going to get back to work. wish me strength.

when nothing feels right

Well, it just so happens that i felt terribly sorry about myself.

I cant get myself to complete the studies that i targeted. i let my friend make use of me. and i took so long to realise it. i scratched my dad's car. i cant book dumb tickets online. i did not manage to get the orders right. i haven't find a partner for my assignment. i cant do anything right. this feeling suck. there is no motivation for anything. i dont feel so right with God either. though i still spell it with a capital "G". evreything seems to be failing. even though i know that it is not the worse. but i feel terrible. i wish someone or somehow in someway, i can be comforted. i want to be comforted. i wish someone can back me up. pat me on the back and tell me keep going.

suddenly i am so alone.

i feel tired. feel like there's nothing to work for. any news seems to be bad news. nothing seems to be good. the world seems to be coming to and end. yet God, are You real? are You listening/reading what i'm saying? i know i am not the most perfect guy. i have many many many flaws not worthy of Your kingdom. have mercy on me.

The heart pumps.

The last time this kind of feeling felt was in the november of 2006. I believe in 2006, the feeling was more intense and deeper. The feeling that each heart beat brings about certain ache in my chest. The throat closing in on you while the veins in your eyes start to show and your breath slowly shortens. This pain reminds me of how fragile human emotions can be. Lets me know that I am still alive and warm blooded, yet makes me want to stop pumping.

This feeling felt today is bad. When you stop being angry, stop blowing your top. When you stay calm and work towards being patient. When you continue to give love when you have stopped recieving. All the feelings get bottled up and stored away. The anger and feelings of unjust subpressed within is like a time-bomb waiting to blow up bad. How am I going to swallow this fiery weapon of destruction and continue living like nothing has gone wrong?

My eyes are heavy, sored when the eyelids do not shield them from the painful wind. So out of breath. So out of life.

Exams are finally over. After 2 years of service for nothing, okay, not exactly nothing, but after two long years, i went through a period of examinations and now it's done. A sense of relief.